Yes, I know, it’s beean a while since last time I wrote. But you’ve got to understand, it’s not easy for a baby to do all this. I have to wait until both Mommy and Daddy are asleep, crawl out of my crib without waking them up, snatch Daddy’s laptop, try to guess his password, then type each key with my nose (my hand coordination isn’t that good yet and besides, I’m always wearing mittens). Not to mention I had to learn about static site generators, Ruby syntax, Jekyll plugins and deployment scripts.

The author, caught at work
The author, caught at work

While Daddy took Grandma to the airport, I kept Mommy busy by asking for food every hour. Then, in the evening, I pretty much ate constantly. They’d feed me, burp me, try to put me to sleep, fail at putting me to sleep, change my diaper then back to feeding again. To top it all off, I peed and pooped while getting changed, making a mess everywhere. Wet wipes wouldn’t do it, so they ended up giving me a bath to clean me up. Out of excitement, I poked Daddy in the eye.

One night when Daddy couldn’t sleep (too much caffeine during the day, to make up for the previous night), I decided to keep him company. So from about 2 to 4am I was up and awake. No rocking, singing or dancing would put me to sleep, I just wanted to stay up with Daddy. So we just looked at each other for 2 hours, with the occasional diaper change.

This became the usual afterward. Either early in the night (around midnight or so) or early in the morning - or, if they’re really unlucky, in the middle of it - I’d refuse to go to sleep. The only acceptable resolution would be to be carried around and rocked. No sitting down, that’s for sissies.

Afterward, I’d nap throughout the next day, with Mommy. I think Daddy would’ve liked to as well, but he has to work. Oh well, he wouldn’t have fit on the couch next to us anyway.

I started outgrowing my clothes. And my diapers. Guess how they found that out ;)

At the end of September I had my one-month checkup. Unsurprisingly, I grew and gained weight from eating so much. The doctor was very impressed with my neck motor skills (from all that nose typing I mentioned earlier). I also got commended for my job performance - filling diapers, that is.

During the many attempts to put me to sleep at night, both parents have tried all kinds of musical aids (even my swing has lullabies, but I prefer the chirping sound of birds over them). They sang to me - mostly Daddy, who, let’s be honest here, is not the musically gifted one in the family. They tried all kinds of music to make me fall asleep - from classical to soft rock/pop - and countless lullabies but nothing was effective. Except one.

I love me some K-pop. It’s the only thing that is guaranteed to put me to sleep. And I don’t mean some soft, slow ballad, I mean full-dance, beat pumping K-pop. The louder, the better.

Sadly neither my parents are exactly K-pop fans, so they don’t have many songs. My favorite - which I heard on TV in a commercial - is this one.

These past few days my parents are trying to introduce me to the bottle. It didn’t go too well, at first. Nothing compares to boobies. They kept at it though, since it wont be long until Mommy has to go back to work and it’s up to Daddy and my grandparents to feed me.

Speaking of grandparents, Daddy was counting down the number of days until they arrive, hoping for some relief. I decided to “help” by being extra fussy during those days. I wouldn’t sleep at night, constant crying, the works. Just making sure you have something to look forward to, Daddy. You’re welcome.